dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
