I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
