More tranny stories later!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
