someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize