Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize