I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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