You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
