you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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