Your tits are I can't wait for
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
