I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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