i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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