i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize