i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
