the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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