I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
