I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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