Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
