so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
