I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
