just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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