True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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