if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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