Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize