U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
