why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will be naked everywhere
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
