Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
