Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
