Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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