So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
