There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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