I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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