Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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