just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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