mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize