Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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