I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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