Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
