I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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