Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need a beard to bite.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
