i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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