I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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