Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
