Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
