He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
