Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize