If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
