I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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