Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
