Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
vagina is talking i cant
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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