yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
