I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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