piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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