Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
