Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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