Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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