No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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