Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
