in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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