Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
