I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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