dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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