Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize