i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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