I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I enjoy the company of your penis
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize