So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
